Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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