no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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