idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
