508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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