I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
