super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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