can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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