Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
