i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
