I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
