She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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