If i come over, it means nothing
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
