Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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