oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
