Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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