I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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