Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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