Did you just see the Batmobile???
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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