oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
