I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
