I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
