Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
