Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
