some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i've created a new STD.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
