We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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