are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
