There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
