trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
