fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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