Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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