very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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