I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
