Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
