When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize