I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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