I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
