What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
