I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
