took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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