she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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