why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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