She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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