addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
