Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize