Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
someone owes me an orgasm
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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