I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
