Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
