i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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