I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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