hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
