i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
