We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
