i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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