help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
not ubering you a puppy
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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