That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
