I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
