We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
