so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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