...so i touched it.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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