you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
