he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
