I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
