You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
