I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
